I spent a year in counselling when I was in my mid-twenties due to depression and addiction issues. The man I found to be most helpful was Dr. James Matthews, a holistic naturopath and chiropractor. He taught me a series of "mental mechanisms" that have stayed with me to this day.
Happy people are rarely sick and sick people are rarely happy. Most dis-ease comes from emotional and mental feelings and thoughts of worthlessness, helplessness and hopelessness. Depression comes from our own displeasure with ourselves over our behavior and situation. This is often compounded by abuse and addiction in our often negative and rejecting society.
Dr. Matthews was the founder of the Tough Love movement that gained popularity in the 80's through Christian radio personality James Dobson who started Focus on the Family. Tough Love means setting boundaries with friends, families and co-workers. Each person must make it clear to others what and where their boundaries are and then also respond appropriately when others violate these boundaries.
Dr. Matthews called himself a life coach and shared his program of personal health accountability with me. He said most people externalize their problems and blame their situation on others. Healthy people internalize and take responsibility for their emotional, physical and mental well-being.
Happiness is a practice, a discipline and an art that results from how we respond to events, circumstances and the behavior of others; we decide how we respond to other people's negativity. Jesus was a master at responding appropriately and he never paid back evil with evil. He always responded with good no matter what the circumstances.
Much unhappiness results from caring about what others think of us. Learning to not care what people think requires a shift in our thinking about ourselves, because it is more important what we think of ourselves than what others think. Fostering a positive opinion of your self boosts your self-esteem, self-image, self-respect and self-confidence.
Tough love means being firm but kind while setting boundaries and sticking with them. Have a happy productive day. 📷
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